I was supposed to get on a plane to Missoula Montana. It is not an easy place to get, as there are no direct flights from NY and connecting flight times are extremely limited. My flight was going to Denver and I would connect to the one and only flight from there into Missoula which was scheduled to leave at 9:13pm and arrive in Montana at 11:08PM. I came to learn that GOD had a different plan.
Jeremiah 29:11New King James Version (NKJV)
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
I arrived at the airport in the necessary 2 hour prior to flight time frame. Immediately things started to spiral in what seemed to be a bad direction. I was challenged to make choices between FLESH and SPIRIT!
- Would I give attitude or be agreeable.
My carry on luggage was considered "too big!" Even though previously measured it fit the criteria when it was empty, once it was filled it bulged out and was considered too large. SO, offering a quick silent prayer within, I surrendered the bag, (sad to say, NOT before I voiced my opinion) and was on my way to the gate.
When I got to the next check in there was NOT a long line, but people around me were anxious and pushing past each other. I stood in my spot and realized I needed my ticket at this point, so I put my back pack down on the floor and went in to pull out the boarding pass I had printed. All the while I couldn't help but notice all the bags going by that were BIGGER then my carry-on that was TOO big! My heart was struggling to choose joy and peace instead of anger and resentment!
The EXTREMELY ANXIOUS MAN behind me immediately moved past me even though it was not our turn. So again, I am sad to say, once I had my ticket in hand I nicely said "EXCUSE ME!" I took my spot back which was next in line, I walked past the man and went on my way. Looking back, there was absolutely NO REASON for me to do that, but something about airports and traveling can really bring out the worst in you!
Then it was the dreaded inspection area! Everyone was FREAKING! Taking of shoes & belts, looking for bins to place their stuff in, and in the midst of that chaos, the security people were barking directions. Fully aware of my flesh by now I was confident I had it all together. I even had my little socks out so when I took my shoes off I did not have to walk barefoot on the floor at LaGuardia International airport where thousands of bare feet had left their germs!
Ticket still in hand, I placed my backpack in a bin, along with my Ziploc bag filled with my 3.5 ounce bottles of various liquids and my shoes. I think I may have thought to myself "smooth sailing from here!" Not realizing my phone was in my pocket and I had my jacket on so I didn't have to carry it, the security woman started yelling at me and barking orders!
Thankfully, because of the two half failed flesh reactions I already had, I was aware of the choices presenting themselves and I was determined to pass with flying colors! So, even though it frazzled me, I nicely said "oh, sorry," and I went back and put the two items on the conveyer-belt. Meanwhile, I was anxious because my bags had gone way up ahead of me and people were flying past me.
I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people Who have set themselves against me all around.
Once I got through security gate I gathered all my items but before I moved on, I took the time to collect myself. I took a DEEP breath, put my shoes on, and realized MY TICKET WAS GONE!
Determined not going to go back to the SCREAMING lady, I surveyed a group of security people, prayed for discernment and picked the friendliest face out of the crowd. GOD WAS FAITHFUL, because indeed I picked the helpful person who was willing to go back through the gate for me and he found my pass lying on the ground!
Determined not going to go back to the SCREAMING lady, I surveyed a group of security people, prayed for discernment and picked the friendliest face out of the crowd. GOD WAS FAITHFUL, because indeed I picked the helpful person who was willing to go back through the gate for me and he found my pass lying on the ground!
All this in just the few minutes I was in the airport. From the curb where my husband dropped me off to this point only 15 or 20 minutes had passed. I thought to myself, "Ah, I am in SMOOTH SAILING FROM HERE! Now I can go find a seat and wait to board the plane."
Little did I know there was more to learn, more challenges to face and NECESSARY DISAPPOINTMENT waiting for me ahead! After trying for weeks to plan this trip and years hoping to take this trip, I had to first accept the fact that my husband could not go with me and then after 8 hours of delays I had to accept the fact that this trip was NOT GOING TO TAKE PLACE! I was NOT GOING TO MONTANA! I needed to call my husband and ask him to drive over an hour back to the airport and take me home!
Little did I know there was more to learn, more challenges to face and NECESSARY DISAPPOINTMENT waiting for me ahead! After trying for weeks to plan this trip and years hoping to take this trip, I had to first accept the fact that my husband could not go with me and then after 8 hours of delays I had to accept the fact that this trip was NOT GOING TO TAKE PLACE! I was NOT GOING TO MONTANA! I needed to call my husband and ask him to drive over an hour back to the airport and take me home!
I
can not tell you how disappointed I was but I'd like to paint a picture. I felt like a child
does when their balloon gets away from them at the zoo... They're
already exhausted from the loooong day and then the only thing they have
to hold onto, to remember the fun, joy and excitement the day held just
goes up into the sky without them!!
Sounds dramatic doesn't it?
But emotion is dramatic! It comes over you like a storm sometimes... I found myself crying even though my logic and my faith were saying,
everything happens for a reason and there will be another time... This feeling of being disappointed made me even more sad because I thought I was lacking faith and
trust... But then I remembered that JESUS WEPT.
Of course for a much
greater reason, but when he called Lazarus out of the tomb MAYBE His
tears were that of disappointment. Lazarus was in GLORY and now he had
to come back to fallen earth...
Jesus wept.
As my heart was getting anxious and filling with sadness I had to practice reminding myself to:
Rejoice
always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is
the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. (I Thessalonians 5:16-18
NKJV)
Boy, nothing like a little trial to help you practice faith. So I had to surrender the disappointment and the sorrow and ask The Lord to:
Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my
anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the
way everlasting. (Psalms 139:23-24 NKJV)
Oh how I long to be the Christian
- who never doubts God's plan
- who walks in the way of righteousnes
- who trusts in the midst of storms
- who accepts without question whatever comes my way.
- The choice to show kindness or be gentle when I am offended.
- The choice to move forward in-spite of fear.
- The choice to seek The Lord instead of try to figure thing out myself!
- The choice to be patient when I need to wait or patient with others when they try me.
- The choice to surrender instead of grapple to hold onto something not meant for me!
It is God who arms me with strength, And makes my way perfect.
Oh how I need the HOLY SPIRIT to daily fill me and make me able to bring Him glory through my actions, my words, my life!
But the Helper, the HolySpirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.
Well, as of right now I feel like I've learned so much about myself and who God wants me to be through this little bump in my road of life. Of course I realize there are bigger and harder bumps, but in the midst of this little bump, in the midst of my NECESSARY DISAPPOINTMENT, I was able to see God's hand shaping and molding me. I was able to see the many opportunities He presented to me in that crowded airport to meet and in some ways minister to people. Strangers to me, but HEARTS HE KNOWS ALL TOO WELL!
As I sat waiting for what I thought would be an amazing journey, to a beautiful part of this country, to spend time with equally amazing and beautiful people, I was on the journey God had planned for me and I was as far as I was going to get that day. As I sat crocheting a blanket I was working on, an older man sat next to me and said "Just so you know, I am an extra large!" I chucked and said "what I am making is a blanket and it is one size fits all!"
My heart felt something about this man who was a complete stranger. A feeling about him said he had a hard life and he needed care, encouragement, guidance and ultimately JESUS! He wanted to chat so I engaged him in conversation. I AM ALWAYS UP FOR CHATTING! He was in town for his son's wedding, and he shared that on the flight into NY his medicine was missing from his suitcase when he got it from the luggage area. Being concerned I asked if he was okay thinking it was something he needed daily like heart medication or insulin. He told me he was concerned because it was in bottles with his name on them and it could be sold on the street!
I realized at that moment why the Lord sat him next to me, it was pain medication. He informed me that he only took it as needed. I felt the Lord put it on my heart to say "Maybe the Lord wants you to know you don't need that anymore!"
After many announcements declaring all the reasons for delays such as:
- waiting for the arrival
- clearing the plane
- lights on the panel
- waiting for mechanics
- determining the problem
- needing a part to fix the problem
The College girl shook her head in agreement and said it was true! I explained my opinion by saying it either fakes people into thinking a situation is better than it actually is by masking reality or makes people aggressive. My experience with people who use so called "beverages" to enhance a good time, or camouflage a hard time end up, making a fool of themselves, or making a mess of their lives. They either do things they regret or have things done to them they wish never happened! I ended by pointing out the facts. Ultimately you end up face down in the toilet, and hungover but the situation stays the same. The college student again shook her head and agreed saying, its true but the man said "Uh-OH"
He was obviously convicted and felt a need to tell me that he hasn't had a drink in years! He tried to explain that the wedding was the only reason he even decided to have a drink in the first place. Not wanting to make him feel condemned as I could sense his conviction, I said the wedding must have been nice and I asked him where it took place. This is when I realized GOD WANTED ME TO MEET THIS MAN!
My husband married a couple this past Saturday in Brooklyn and this man's son was married in Brooklyn too, AT THE SAME PLACE! I actually had pictures on my phone of the venue to show him and we laughed about being in the same place at the same time twice in two days!
I see this blog is already longer than I anticipated so I won't give you anymore details of this long day, but there were several other GOD APPOINTED interactions! However, I will end by saying sometimes DISCOURAGEMENT is NECESSARY!
When we put on the mind of Christ, and we seek Him in the midst of discouragement, we will have the eyes to see HIS HAND AT WORK!
When we put on the mind of Christ, and we seek Him in the midst of discouragement, we will have the eyes to see HIS HAND AT WORK!
- ONLY THEN will we be open to learning whatever HE can teach us at that time.
- ONLY THEN will we yield ourselves to be used.
- ONLY THEN will we find Peace in the midst of the situation.
- ONLY THEN will we accept our human emotions as feelings but our actions that follow as choices we can control.
- ONLY THEN can we be honest with ourselves and recognize where we have fallen short, confess it and MOVE ON!
- ONLY THEN can we welcome discouragement as painful as it may be and realize that IT WAS INDEED NECESSARY!
So encouraging Dawn and beautifully written!
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